Generativity
Webster’s Dictionary defines generativity as “having the power or function of generating, originating, producing, or reproducing”. Other words that come to mind include creating, inspiring, envisioning, and enlivening.
I have found myself coming back to this word, “generative” again and again over the past few weeks, both in my work with clients, and in my own life. So what does this word mean if we apply it to our lives? The ability to be generative in one’s own life is to be able to create new life, over and over again. The ultimate in generating new life is to give actual birth to a child, but there are so many other ways that we can bring forth new life. We can give birth to an idea, and bring it to fruition. We can give birth to a new way of thinking, or a new way of experiencing the world. We can, and should, give birth to ourselves, over and over throughout the course of our lifetimes. We are all creative beings, filled with endless potential for creating and generating ideas, plans, and projects. And yet, so many of us feel stuck, stagnant, unable to change something that doesn’t quite fit anymore. We may feel powerless to change, stagnant, and unable to bring forth anything new.
One of the biggest roadblocks to generativity is fear. Fear keeps us frozen, locked in place. We may be afraid to try something new because our efforts haven’t been supported in the past. Maybe our confidence has been diminished early on in life, and that lack of belief in ourselves has stayed with us throughout our lifetime. Perhaps we fear others will laugh at our efforts, or that we will be rejected in some way. Or maybe the fear of failure keeps us stuck, so we stop ourselves before we even get started. Fear is ever present for most people, and quite honestly, if we ever want to get our projects off the ground, we must come into relationship with our fear, rather than rejecting it. What does it mean to “come into relationship” with our fear? It means inviting the fear to sit down with you, and initiating a conversation with it, soothing it, much like you would a child who was fearful about something. Asking the question “what are you afraid of”, listening deeply to what the fear is telling you, and then tending to the fear with gentleness, but firmness, much like a parent would to a child who was fearful. In other words, feel the fear and do it anyway (great book, by the way!).
I don’t mean to minimize the effect that our fears have on our lives, or to simplify something that can be very complicated and deep rooted within our psyches. However, if we allow our fears, or our misguided beliefs about ourselves to dictate how we live our lives, we will miss out on the incredible joy of reinventing ourselves over and over again.
What do you want to give birth to? What has been gestating within you that is ready to be born?